whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Sober January is a disaster.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
