I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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