You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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