I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
