Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
