Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize