Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Randomize
