I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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