You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
