I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
