I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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