They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
