just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Randomize
