Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
