Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
