I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
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