How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
