Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Randomize
