i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize