And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
