If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
