i may or may not be watching the land before time
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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