just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
