I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
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