She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
