You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
