Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
