I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
