just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
