He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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