But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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