Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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