I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
