Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
