bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
