the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
