Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
