Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Randomize
