You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
