someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
