i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i used baking grease as lip gloss
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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