Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
