The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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