i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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