Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
