This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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