THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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