M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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