Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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