sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Sacagawea was the original milf.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
