Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Randomize
