The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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