I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
