i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
