I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
