well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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