Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I lost the right to judge tonight
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
