I saw his package. It spoke to me.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
